I suppose I may have been fishing.
Not ready for "I love you's" but baiting for an indication.
Whispered "I think I may be falling in love with you" as we lay.
But I do, I do love him. Well, have love for him.
Feel that welling inside.
The 'in love' may follow.
He didn't push away, but pulled me closer if anything.
He made his excuses -garbling, confused in my mind.
His actions undermining his words.
But.
There were words.
Strung together.
Lapsing, erroneous,
At times incomprehensible, perhaps.
But.
A message?
There, he held our future. I felt it keenly.
Flashbacks to loves of old.
A message I should heed?
But I can't.
I won't lie.
He isn't 'just another' for me.
But I can't be unrealistic, as for him I may well be.
But he's asked for time, time that will make a queen or a mockery of me.
Perhaps I am convenient?
Girlfriend-experience as they call it.
Bring me the fuck with meaning - the support when I need it.
Skip the integration and cohabitation.
I am strong.
But not nearly as hardened as he presumed
Still Achilles.
Still, a heart that doesn't break is no heart at all.
