flashback

This is the last time I saw you.
The first time I really saw you,
beckoning from the long-grass.
I knew, I knew everything.
This is where I take my leave. Soon.

I could never tell you then
That I had seen the snake with shedded skin
Come ever so sharply into focus in the forefront
It had had your eyes, your mouth
And from those serpent lips, her name upon it's tongue.

Later as we fucked
I begged for destruction
For it was the only real thing you had given me
I turned and shut my head in the pillows,
so you wouldn't see the saline welling.

'Come now, I'm ruined', I say to myself.
A shrug and I face away, holding your sweaty hand in mine
but I don't clasp it any more, do you notice?

Later still, Lying still, to the wall, to the barrels, blinded,
Letting your gentle snores
Mask my laboured breathing.
I didn't sleep that night,
I was working up the courage to walk out

Such elaborate games I played for myself alone
That you did not know was that you did not win
I swallowed so many keys that day
And locked so many doors
That I may not let another in

crashing

i can't hear you if you're calling
there's a whispering fog stalling
quiet footsteps in the hall and
crashing waves upon the sand